I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
The feeling are messing with the penis
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Randomize
