u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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