Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
