at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
