Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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