Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Randomize
