scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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