and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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