so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
