***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
