I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
