You work out of a Hotel?
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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