She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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