i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
