miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
