i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
