I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
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