carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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