About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
