I wish I could punch you in the face.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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