I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
