It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
