What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
