Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
