i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
