when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
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