no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize
