Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
