well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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