There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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