Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I'm way too hungover for life right now
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
