I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Randomize
