You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
