Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
