pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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