My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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