So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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