found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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