He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I would ride that face into the sunset
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
