Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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