If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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