Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
