I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
