Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
