i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I'm too high and old for this...
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
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