she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
