and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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