11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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