So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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