he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
