going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
