Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
